SGN Page 15

Friday
July 22, 2005
SGN.org
Volume 33
Issue 29

Saturday, Nov 21, 2009 11:50

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The message is: LOVE WELCOMES ALL

The message is: LOVE WELCOMES ALL
by Robert Raketty - SGN Staff Writer Love Welcome All was more than the name of a counter-conference held at Newport Presbyterian Church in Bellvue on Saturday, July 9; it was also the message. The 160 people who participated heard from religious and scientific scholars who offered a message of love and acceptance. The conference, which was organized by PFLAG, the Pacific Northwest Reconciling Ministries Network and the Religious Coalition for Equality, was organized to counter the message of anti-Gay groups such as Focus on the Family and Exodus International who brought their own brand of Christianity to the region last month. The Love Won Out conference in Bothell had offered the message that "homosexuality is preventable and treatable." "Our attendance was nowhere near the 1,200 that [James] Dobson had two weeks earlier, but then he's got resources and the grapevine. We are just not in that league," said John Wartes, a organizer of the Love Welcomes All conference. "We thought it was importance to make a presence. We know that we attracted some number, probably a small number, who actually attended the other conference. "I think our presence in the media - radio stations, newspapers and so forth - was every bit as much as Dobson got. That probably was one objective we feel good about. He came to town, but did not dominate the discussion." Mary Lou and Bob Wallner where the keynote speakers at the Love Welcomes All conference. The Wallners were raised in a very conservative Christian church and they brought their daughter up in a similar environment. That's why they had a hard time accepting their daughter's sexual orientation when she came out to them as a Lesbian in a letter she wrote to them in December of 1988. "She was able to be who she really was as long as she wasn't around us. Then, around us, she didn't really talk about it. I knew she had partners and that kind of thing, but we just didn't talk about it a lot," Mary Lou Wallner told the Seattle Gay News. "Then in February of 1997, she committed suicide. She was 29 years old& Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the way I taught her about homosexuality. I have since come to understand that almost anybody gets depressed if they can't be who they really are." Now, the couple travels around the country sharing their story as part of their nonprofit organization, To Educate About the Consequences of Homophobia (TEACH). Mary Lou is author of the book The Slow Miracle of Transformation. The Wallners where followed by a panel discussion moderated by Dr. Doug Halderman, a Clinical Professor in the Psychology Department of the University of Washington. He was joined by Anthropologist Dr. Patrick Chapman, who is also a professor at South Puget Sound Community College, and Dr. Jallen Rix, who holds a doctorate degree in sexuality education. The three discussed the origins of sexuality and the emotional health of LGBT people. In an interview with the SGN Halderman said that those undergoing therapy to change their sexual orientation can suffer lingering depression, anxiety, avoidance of intimacy, and sexual dysfunction among other affects. "This whole movement right now really isn't about therapy; it's about trying to pull back public opinion that is gradually shifting in favor of LGB people," he said. "It is an attempt to influence the ballot box and the way they are trying to do that is through junk science that promotes the old antiquated view that homosexuality is an aberration, a mental disorder or some failure of adequate attachment in early life. All this stuff - which has never been proven - is not currently accepted by the mainstream scientific organizations." Halderman has a private practice working with former "ex-Gays" and has conducted research on the topic. He has published articles, textbook chapters and is currently working on book on the subject. "There is this odd partnership between these marginalized mental health people - many of whom have had very little training - and the religious right. They formed this alliance trying to persuade people," he said. "They have even changed their message to make it gentler now; to try and make it more palatable to the public. To say, 'Well, we are just trying to help those people who want to change their homosexuality.' Why would you want to change your sexuality? Because of the prevailing negative social or religious influences." After lunch, Washington State PFLAG Coordinator Kathy Reim moderated a panel of families who had a LGBT loved one. They shared their moving stories about their paths to acceptance. "Most Americans are fair minded. When they understand that you didn't cause it and you can't change; they are going to come around," Wartes, whose adopted son is Gay, later told the SGN. "It will be hard for very conservative folks, because this is opposite what they have been talking about for some period of time. So, it will be awhile before they come around to the truth about all of this." Wartes said that the two concurring panels on religion where "just very important" and that the "whole topic is just so interrelated with religion you can't separate it out." One panel focused on an evangelical perspective and featured people who had come from conservative religious backgrounds; the other on the values of inclusive faith traditions. Ron Poindexter, former President of Evangelicals Concerned Western Region, served as the moderator of the evangelical panel. Kimberly Briar and Jim Horn also sat on the panel. The panel on inclusive faith traditions was organized by the Religious Coalition for Equality. It included: Rev. Tim Phillips of University Baptist Church, Rev. Shannon Anderson of Central Lutheran Church and Rev. David Shull of University Congregational Church and Rev. Monica Corsaro, an ordained minister in the United Methodist Church. In addition to speakers, several groups tabled at the event. They included: The American Friends Service Committee, Tacoma & Seattle PFLAG, Bailey/Coy Books, The Northwest Reconciling Ministries Network (United Methodist), Evangelicals Concerned, TEACH ministries and Dennis Smith, author of God Did Too Make Adam and Steve. The event also included a display of 20 stoles from the Shower of Stoles Project. The project is a collection of hundreds liturgical stoles from gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons from twenty-three denominations in five countries. The extraordinary collection is meant to celebrate the gifts of LGBT persons who serve God and lift up those who have been excluded due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. Obsidian Security, who donated their time to staff the conference, helped to ensure that the day-long conference went without incident.