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Lipstick and Lust

Love and lust in the air as 'yours truly' turns 50
by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid - SGN A&E Writer Ah, I'm finally drifting back to earth, after being on a monthlong 'pink cloud', of joy, uncertainty (what you only have bliss on your 'pink cloud'), anticipation and all out, orgiastic luv. Hey, when you know that a bunch of people love you dearly, you know you're living well, and Lipstick and Lust is well loved dahlings, for sure! And I'm hear to tell folks like that bimbo blonde actress from some show I don't watch, who said "most folks don't like to say 40 outloud," when Craig Ferguson (The Man, in my book!) asked her why she was whispering "40," fifty rocks baby! Nyah, nyah, nah nah nah honey! So, I also got to try a few products this month that I'm totally in love with and, since this is the month o' love, I'm going to share my recommendations with you, my little sweet buns. First, rush to Madison Market and grab a delish tube of their 'Temptations' lip gloss. There are three colors to choose from, including a nice nude, but my fave is the 'passion' color (of course!), which goes on like silk and makes your lips feel so kissable. And who doesn't need that around Valentine's Day, hmmm? I'm also lovin' on Bulgari's Pour Homme eau de toilette, which, for some reason I've yet to fathom, drives my cat (the koo-koo Scorpio) absolutely bonkers. It gets me noticed by the 'Russian Goddess', who works out at my gym too (or maybe that's just my macha from all the weightlifting). And I also really dig Café Paradise, which I got a sample of at Nordstrom (you can get a whole bottle, and dab it on each other, to start a night of fun on 'V-Day!'). You can also get the Bulgari Pour Homme eau de toilette at Nordy's too. Finally, if you're wanting to look flawless, try DHC's 'Liquid Makeup'. I wore some in 'Ocher' to cover up the 'little boo boo' I got when I got a bit overexcited watching the Seahawks whoop up on the Panthers a few weeks ago, and fell on the sidewalk with a decidedly ungraceful crash. Luckily, the valets who were cheering with me at the Metropolitan Grill (where I was watching, through their streetside window), helped me up, got me some ice and soothed my aching ego too. Ouch, and I broke my glasses, but a lovely lass at Hour Eyes Optical fixed those (see the photo, this column) for me in a snap, and, except for a lovely little 'shiner' and a very banged up knee, I was as good as new. By the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'll be right as rain again and enjoying my new 'elder' status. So, what are you doing for 'V-Day?' If you don't already have some ideas, here's a few to try. You can go by yourself, or take your sweetie to Banya 5 Russian Spa, and take advantage of their Valentine's Day package. They have packages you can share, ranging from $40.00 massages to $165.00 massage, spa, and champagne packages, and, believe me, the place is so luxurious, even if you have to do it solo, you'll feel pampered enough that you probably will be glowing with so much beauty that you won't be solo long. Banya 5 is located at 217 9th Avenue, North, near Fairview in the neighborhood with the Seattle Times and Slo Joe's Backyard Barbeque. Or, if you want to stay on the Hill, Salon Dewi (featured in the 'hot new biz' section of this column recently) is doing tandem massages for either single folks or couples and also has gift certificates to give your honey. Or, you can get a mani/pedicure at Polished (see the 'hot new biz' piece on them in this column), the new nail place that just opened on Pine, just up the street from SGN offices. And then, there's always bath, body and cosmetic goodies you can put together in a nice little basket or gift bag that you can pick up at Sephora, or Babeland (if your sweetie's a little on the kinky side, like my new flames are, then I heartily advise a trip to Babeland, Castle Adult Megastore, or even Fantasy Unlimited!). Either or both, would certainly get you some nooky, or at least have your darlin' smiling by the end of the day on 'V-Day.' And then, there's always the standard for those of you who are die-hard romantics, like me, the old flowers, chocolates (unless she's allergic), video at home, or movie out, homemade dinner, or dinner out-I prefer cooking for my ladies, because what's better than being together in the kitchen, sampling and smooching while things simmer (on the stove and off!), bath or shower together and hot, steamy, shake the windows, get the neighbors glaring at you, sex. Whatever you do, be creative, be safe and most of all, be nice to each other, celebrating that most special of things, Queer love. Ah, my little peach muffins, Lipstick and Lust has just been salivating, thinking of the episode of 'Prayerland' you're about to read. So, without further ado, 'Prayerland, The D'I'leggj Chronicles'. It was hard to see. Wet on everything, shiny and all over, like looking through the walls of the Sth'I'lee, and the smell was cool, like water, but not water. When I sniffed I could sniff something I'd never sniffed. Something that wasn't me, wasn't any of my sisters or brothers, or even of the Many Leggers, or the Clawed Sharp Teeth Who Weren't D'I'leggtj^ . like me. And so my hair stood up, puffiing for safety, to show I wasn't afraid to That Which Was New In P'jeGa'liiith'. My fur was pretty. I'd licked it and Cajaar had licked it and Mokur had pulled his claws, claws that grabbed me when we last mated, through it and showed his teeth, so I knew I looked pretty. Would The New Smell think I was pretty. I fell to walking on fours, sniffing, sniffing, then bumped into this being, this New Something That Was Not Me, Was Not Otle, or anything I knew. I whined, but I was not afraid, just wanted to know, so I howled too. 'What the fuck! Nice doggy, nice&' It's foggy and I'm dreaming of Prayerland, or something I think is Prayerland and thinking, where the hell am I? Where's Jelly? Is this the same place with the animals who can walk and talk. 'I'm not going to hurt you. Whoa&' I go all whoozy, not sure if I'm here (wherever 'here' is), or dead or still dreaming next to Jelly, and the thing stands up. Just like that, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for wolves to stand up like humans. And no shit, she's ( I know this, because I can't help looking down and there's no 'thingie', you know, no 'meat an veg', so I know she's a 'she') she's wearing some kind of armor and a little jacket, and very, very elaborate jewelry, including rings in her ears, nose and on her tits (which I can see very clearly, even in this dim light). I sniff her, and I think I'm scaring the New Thing, so I try to be smaller, but I'm tall, even for a D'I'eggtj^, and I can smell her fear, but I want to know New Thing, to make her feel welcome in our place, so I offer her my front leg, which she accepts with her front leg, and we just stand there a moment, and she lets me sniff her front leg, but when I try to sniff her rear, she puts out more fear smell and I think she puffs up a bit too, but she has no fur, like me. 'Hey, that's for my lady, okay, whoa there&Lassie&' I shake my head, because this is not a name from our place and it's not my name. I figure New Thing is one of the Lessers and decide I'm better than her, so in our way with all things new, I decide to help her be better, because it is our way. 'Name&name of&name you call you&' To me, my voice is understandable, and my kind have said it was pretty sounding and it brings mates to me when I need them, so I don't understand when New Thing back away, her eyes bigger and her fear smell strong to me. "Shit, did you just talk? Now I know I'm dreamin'&' She takes her front leg back and stands away from me, which is good, because I'm starting to not like her smell, that is one part fear, all part something Un Us, Un D'I'legggj^. 'So, where am I, am I dead, I know I got smacked around pretty damned good by those Morte boys. Shit, shit, shit&'she falls down, holds her head like Gorosh did when her son J'aElg died in one of the fights with some of the rogue Clawed Ones With Sharp Teeth That Are Not Us. I feel sad for her and go back to fours to be close to her sadness, but when I lick her hand and face, she jumps back, then falls down, so I lay down next to her and watch. She sits up and holds her body. I guess she is cold, because the air prickles my nose and I have fur, and she is Not Furred. I feel more sadness and howl a bit. 'Damn it, stop that&.I'm sorry&shit&' She pets my head and The Good Feeling comes, and I remember old times, times with her kind, times when all of our kind, The Furred, lived inside, and walked beside The Naked Ones, ate out of dishes, and wore collars, and were kept as companions. Pets. Those who did not have our own language then. I growl a little and stand up my full height and she stands up, fear smell, but puts out her front leg and take it. We walk together, to the TjiggGayj, where I will talk to The Obejeoeli about her. She'll know what to do. She's lived many dark times and light times and mated many times and has many family members like her. I try not to growl when she pets me again, to remember, in her world, this is a friendly gesture. "I hope I'm not dead. Jelly'd cry like all get out and Spark and Miracle, shit, they'd miss me and I&I hope I'm dreaming&' I've never seen a wolf walk before, but I follow her anyway, not sure where we're going, but knowing this is going to help me, make me whole again after what happened to me with Jai Lin and her two wicked kinky brothers. 'She won't wake up, and I've tried at least two times, Bo. I'm scared. Maybe we need to call someone&' Jelly looked at the old 'Raq vet, who had joined her at the bedside, where Dee still slept, barely moving, pale as the moon outside tonight. 'Maybe she just needs rest, little one. After all, she was pretty jacked when she got back last night,' He put a shaking hand on Dee's forehead, smoothed it over gently. 'I'm sure she'll pull through whatever this is, and y'all'll be disturbing my reading again, soon&' He smiled a worn, beaten up smile at Jelly and tried to sound more sure than he felt. He'd seen men like this, when he fought back in the 'Raq, but he didn't tell Jelly that. In fact, Bo Jarvis forced any shred of that memory out of his mind, thought he felt the images skittering around on the edge of his mind like insects. We got to the Sthllei, and found Mujouha, the Obejeoli, who sniffed me, and I sniffed her, before I pushed The New Thing to her. Mujouha's eyes got big and her fur puffed, like mine, but not in fear, but in excitement. She smiled at me, and I felt warm and loved, happy to be in this place, in with Our Tribe's Smells and Sounds. Others came, because they too could feel Mujouha's happy and smell her happy. And we all just sat, our tongues out, our fur puffed, sniffing The New Thing and waiting for something to happen. 'Welcome to the Healing Place in P'eggl'a'litj. Come, let us&' Another talking wolf, in fact a whole lot of them, and a few talking bears, only they look more human than animal, like when I first dreamed of this place called 'Prayerland'. Her words sound strange, and I hear wind and other things like rain and water running, in her words, and can't understand how that can be, but I'm staring to like it here and starting to feel I'm not dead, just dreaming a very long, very strange dream, so I relax and lay down on the rough cloth she shows me to in another teepee (that's what it looks like to me, but they call it something different). And while they sing, I drift and think of Jelly, and Spark and Miracle and wish they were here too, so we could all be warm and happy and they'd know I'm okay. 'Look, she seems happy. I wonder what she's dreaming?' Jelly watched her partner sleeping, saw the slight smile on her mouth and kissed her. Bo looked away, trying to stay neutral, to not let Jelly see that he needed, and not just her, but anyone, any touch. Shit, he thought, how long had it been since someone besides a hooker touched him? He watched the two a little longer, then started his wheelchair toward the other room. 'I better get back to my book. Come get me if she gets worse, or doesn't wake up soon,' Jelly smiled at him, and his chest felt deep and heavy, and he wanted to put his head on her body, anywhere and feel like he knew Dee felt when they slept together in that bed. So, before he could betray any of this to Jelly, fearing he'd scare off another friend, he left. Jelly watched Dee, curled up beside her on the bed and listened to the sounds of people coming and going out in the hall. Got up, fed Spark and Miracle, played a few games with them, then ate something herself. She was half-way through one of the books Joey, the guy who lived with his partner, QJ, down the hall, had given her, when she heard Dee yawn. 'Hey, Jelly, you here, baby&.' Jelly ran, and almost fell as she hurried the short distance to their bedroom. 'Honey, honey, honey. I was so worried, you slept forever, and&' Dee sat up and kissed her partner, tasting sweetness from the sandwich Jelly'd been eating earlier. They both lay back down, pulling at clothes, only pulling away from each other long enough to be rid of those same garments. Hands, breasts and tongues explored, twined and ground together as they both rejoiced in the fact that Dee was going to be fine, or at least that she was awake. 'I thought you were in a coma, or something&' Jelly was 'butterfly kissing' Dee with her lashes, still a bit turned on by the fact that her lover was recovered. 'Nah, just dreaming the same old weird dream again. Only this time it was a lot stranger and the animals were talking,' Jelly started laughing and then they were wrestling and tickling each other, which led to more kissing, then more lovemaking, this time slower, with a deepness neither had felt before. "She'll come back, you know,' Gjoelee was sitting crosslegged in Oebejoele's hut, working on a bird leg with her sharp teeth. 'Yes, and eventually, we'll have to tell her what this place is, and tell her about the child&' They both looked at each other, and then looked into the fire that was starting to go out in the space between them. And both of them felt like something scary was moving in the Plain of Unreal, about to become form and threaten everything they knew. But they also knew this had been coming for some time, every since they first bumped into The New Thing (they found out her name was Dee, but still called her 'The New Thing') in the Mist Place That Was Called Dreaming by Dee and her kind. And somehow, without being told by anything but his own gut, Bo knew something was about to change, and he wasn't sure he liked it. He turned down a corner of a page and put the book in his lap, let his mind wander, but not too much. He took a sip from his tea, noticed his hands shaking and felt tears run down his cheeks. He just let them run this time. No need to hide here, this was home. This was where he could lick his wounds. There, my sweet flowers, hope you liked. And if you are wondering about pronunciation, I'll be putting a little sidebar in with a bit of an explanation for those coming to 'Prayerland' late in its running, in the next column. Just know that most of the spelling is a lot like Gaelic, in that the 'extra letters' aren't pronounced. See you next time, and in the mean time, feel free to e-mail me at ijanaral@yahoo.com. Buh bye!