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Quentin Crisp: His last interview in America

Quentin Crisp: His last interview in America
PART III Don: I'll try not to ask you the same old and dreary questions. Quentin: I'll try not to give you the same old and dreary answers. Don: I'd like to ask you something about the royal family. Seattle Drag Queen Erica Shame said: 'Give Queen Elizabeth a couple shopping bags and she'll look like a well dressed bag lady.' Quentin: That's terrible. Don: So is Erica Shame. She said the Queen doesn't have to dress like a Drag Queen but she is so plain looking. Doesn't she have some nice, Gay fashion designer to help her? Quentin: Elizabeth's mother, the Queen Mother, longed to be fashionable and was dressed by Norman Hartwell. She looked quite nice when they fiddled with her. But the present Queen, I think feels she should look respectable and not seek to be fashionable. Don: She's looking better in her old age but she could loosen up a bit, she's so staid. Quentin: She was taught at an early age not to show emotion. I hold that emotions are a bad thing. They can take hold and spoil everything. The Queen has avoided them, whether it's healthy or not, it's right. She's under an obligation to control her emotions. It would be terrible if she wept or laughed or anything in public because she is a public figure. No public figure should show emotion. I think she can only smile graciously and I would think she's used to it by now. Don: What kind of real life do you think the Queen has? Quentin: I don't think she has a real life. She has a public life and a rest from it. I don't think she has anything else and Prince Phillip is a much more humorless person than she is. But he can make fun of a situation that he finds himself. But Elizabeth can't do that because she represents England. She must be preoccupied with her image and it must be constant. Royalty's function is fixed now and I don't think it will change with Charles when he becomes King. Don: The Queen Mother seems so warm next to Elizabeth. Quentin: You see the Queen Mother is the grandmother of England. Grandmothers have a much more cozy relationship with grandchildren than mothers do with children. To a grandmother, children are toys. You can indulge them and say, 'don't tell your mother.' But when you're someone's mother you have to be sure they survive and survive well. Don: How do you think Elizabeth will be remembered in history? Quentin: I think she's done what she could in very difficult circumstances. I mean I'm so sorry for her when her family has behaved so badly. Don: Do you mean the divorces and all? Quentin: Yes. You see in England divorce is frowned upon but adultery isn't. In America adultery is frowned upon but divorce is not. Every American woman knows that marriage is for a little while but alimony is forever. Don: Scandal goes way back in royalty such as Edward the Seventh who was bedding Lily Langtree and others. Quentin: And the English public even knew other mistresses' names. Edward the Seventh was criticized but women were never criticized. The President Clinton women - I think - are horrible people. What Clinton should have done, if one may presume to say what a President should do, was to say as soon as there was any rumor of this: 'I will neither confirm or deny this scandal.' He should have stayed with it. In America you can evoke the Fifth Amendment. The problem now is that the Clinton affair has become political. Don: There is a man in Seattle who traveled in high class and sexually kinky circles who said Edward the Eighth, the Duke of Windsor, was into kink with Miss. Simpson, the woman he gave up the throne for. Quentin: You see Miss. Simpson was the first American martyr because Edward the Eighth had told his father, George the Fifth, 'I will never ascend the throne.' Only Diana Vreeland and I knew this. She was present when a man, Fruity Metcalf, isn`t that a wonderful name, so British, he was present when Edward said that to his father. He was not capable of ruling the world so they gave him Miss. Simpson so that he could make these fatuous speeches about, 'I go to join the woman I love.' Don: Do you think there was deep love affair going on between them? Quentin: Well they did support each other, he of course was hopeless, I mean she really had to take him in hand and deal with him because he was feeble and he knew he was feeble and that he could only go away quietly, he couldn't rule the world, especially during the Second World War. Don: You got into a little trouble with a remark about Princess Diana. Have you met her? Quentin: No. I now receive hate letters because I said I thought she was trash and got what she deserved. Don: You said that? Quentin: Now everyone is terribly angry with me. She has become a patron saint. I don't know why. Don: She got a lot of press. Why do you think she's trash? Quentin: Well, swaning about Paris with an Arab... When I said that someone said, 'What's wrong with Arabs?' How can any American say that. It was an Arab who tried to bring down New York's Financial Towers. It would have killed thousands. Don: I see, speaking of bringing things down, did you experience the bombing of London during the war? Quentin: Yes. Don: How did you deal with it. It must have been terrifying. Quentin: Oh, it was wonderful. The ground shook with anti-aircraft fire and you could hear the shrapnel falling through the trees and twinkling on the ground. Don: Wouldn't terrifying be more accurate? Quentin: Well terrifying is wonderful. Fear is the only emotion we know we feel. Don: When was the last time you feared something? Quentin: Well now I fear deportation because I only have an English passport. Don: Why would they deport you, because you give such wonderful talks? Quentin: I think I would be considered an unwelcome guest, a disturbing influence and all that. Don: That could never happen unless America turns sharply to the right. I've always wanted to ask this question: It took Pearl Harbor before America entered the war. Did the English people resent America for not entering it sooner? Quentin: I don't think so, but American soldiers were very badly treated by some of the English. I was quite ashamed of them. English soldiers especially felt that American soldiers had all the money and all that spare time and of course they didn't want to share their women. But women liked the American soldiers because they listened. You see an Englishman never listens to what a woman says. My brother was never without a woman in tow. He would take her to a pub, seat her on a stool and every twenty minutes he would turn and say, 'You alright?' And when she'd gone he'd say, 'What a dull woman.' I said, 'And what did you say so she could make a witty reply?' But American soldiers listened and walked crablike beside you as not to miss anything. But I think most Englishmen liked the American soldiers. I know the Gay guys did. Don: Why did you stay in England so long if you had always wanted to come here? Quentin: My fare was paid by Mister Patrick after my book came out. Americans are so generous, no Englishman would do that. Mr. Bennet wanted to make my life story into a musical that I would have loved. My agent, however, said it was not to be and it was never done. He was Hungarian, you never understand what Hugarians mean. Don: Maybe it'll happen some day. Quentin: Well not now of course because we've had so much Gay exposure in the arts. When I came to America in1977 nothing like that had ever happened. The idea of that being a homosexual play, everyone would have rushed to see it; it would have been so new. Don: In closing, Quentin, you've lived in the reign of four English Kings and Queens. Who could be America's King and Queen? Quentin: Gore Vidal perhaps for King and for Queen it has to be Elizabeth Taylor. Don: Any last words for the Gays in the world? Quentin: You first have to be who you are, then you have to be it like mad. Don: Thank you Quentin. Have a nice time in England. As they say in farming circles, may your crops be good. Hurry back and sprinkle more of your wit on American soil. Quentin [Dennis Pratt] died in his homeland on November 21,1999 at the age of 90.