Friday
May 26, 2006
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Volume 34
Issue 21
 
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Saturday, Sep 21, 2019

 

 



 
General Gayety by Leslie Robinson
The birds and bees and LGBT's
With a pre-teen daughter, Angela Williams has quite enough to worry about, in my opinion. But the Alabama mother was given something else to fret over in March when her twelve-year-old handed her a sex education pamphlet from school. According to the pamphlet, Angela Williams, a Lesbian, is as unnatural as Cheez Whiz.

Williams, an Associated Press story noted, had approved of what she read in "The Top 10 Questions Teenagers Ask About Sex," including its promotion of abstinence. Then she hit a wall. "I got to question eight and my jaw dropped," she said.

What was Question No. 8? I'm going to make you guess. Kidding. It read: "What can I do if I am attracted to someone of the same sex?"

The answer included, "Too often, homosexuality is shown as a legitimate lifestyle equal to a heterosexual lifestyle." It also stated homosexuality is "contrary to the laws of nature."

What's a self-respecting Sapphic mom to do? Object, that's what. And bless her, she's getting results, as officials are saying they plan to review the program of which the pamphlet is a part.

I know you'll be shocked, SHOCKED to learn that "The Top 10 Questions" was written by folks affiliated with a group called Generation Life, which opposes abortion, pushes chastity, and promotes that bastion of silliness, the ex-Gay movement.

The school Williams' daughter attends in Dothan is called Honeysuckle Middle School. The minute I read that, I knew I'd be facing an internal struggle over whether to play with that name. Would I take the potentially undignified route?

Yup. Honeysuckle Middle School. The name shouts, "We train budding Lesbians here! At Honeysuckle, our girls learn that sucking honey is an option for their future. We teach them to respect and care for their own honey pots. We encourage them to give thought to whether they want birds or bees hovering around them. When the program is done, we give those who identify as future homosexuals a bumper sticker for their future cars: "Dip me in honey and throw me to the Lesbians!"

There. It's out of my system.

The fuss in Dothan puts me in mind of my own sex education experience. My sixth-grade science teacher had the job of spelling things out for us. Somewhere along the way I realized I had a crush on her. But I distinctly remember her saying that, as we pinballed our way through adolescence, we might experience same-sex crushes.

Oh, I thought, thank God. I don't have to worry about this. It's normal. And so began my inglorious years of keeping the truth and myself separated.

But back to Question No. 8. At this point you've probably forgotten what it was. My but you're getting old. Here you go: "What can I do if I am attracted to someone of the same sex?" The pamphlet's answer was a condemnation of homosexuality.

Honeysuckle students and all middle school students across the nation deserve a more accurate and helpful answer. It's my civic duty to take a crack at it:

"What a good question! We suggest that you spend time with that person, get to know them better on a friendly basis. This will help you figure out if your feelings are real, and whether or not they're receptive to a same-sex relationship. If the answer to both seems to be yes, ask them out on a date. And since you're the one asking, you're the one paying! Good luck, and for more information, ask your teacher for the pamphlet called '10 Tips for Happy and Healthy Same-Sex Dating.'"



Leslie Robinson wonders where her sixth-grade science teacher is now. E-mail Leslie at LesRobinsn@aol.com, and read more of her work at www.GeneralGayety.com.

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