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August 18, 2006
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Volume 34
Issue 33
 
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Queen City Cruise celebrates its 25th anniversary
Queen City Cruise celebrates its 25th anniversary
by Willie Freitas - SGN Contributing Writer



[Editor's Note: The 6 hour Queen City Cruise departed from the Seattle waterfront and traveled through the Ballard Locks to Lake Washington and back again.]

Throwing ex-boyfriends overboard will not be tolerated warned co-hostess Marina Dennis as the Queen City Cruise departed from downtown Seattle's Pier 55 during its 25th anniversary voyage on August 12th.

No sweat off the muscled backs of its party-makin' passengers, there were plenty of scantily-clad distractions aboard this boat.

Not to mention smooching sailors, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in their sun-bathing best and celebrity mermaids with sequins for scales.

And, of course, what would a Queer cruise be without pirates in pink chiffon unsheathing their swords? You can bet it would be considerably less fun than this year's sold-out HomoAquatic summer extravaganza of dance and drink.

The Seattle Chapter of the Tacky Tourist Clubs of America certainly left nothing out last Saturday as DJ Carlo Cochran kept the Argosy bumpin' from Lake Union to the Ballard Locks. Indeed, the Tackys wanted nothing except for more time to polish off that last drink ticket while drooling over Marina's delicious co-host Tony Buff. When his shirt finally came off, exposing a tanned-to perfection Baywatch body, more than one passenger wanted to hit some deck.

Those guests who actually kept their clothes on stuck to the cruise's fashionably outrageous tradition, doing justice to the party's Hi Ho Silver Lame theme with glistening spandex, neon feathers, and ships stranded in their wigs.

Cleverly claiming the coveted honor of best costume were the State Ferries, Tillicum and Kittitas (Katie if you're nasty). Floating through the drink lines in billowing gowns of blue, these two bearded beauties stole the show with their impressively detailed mini-ferryboat headpieces. Equally impressive was the strapping young sailor crowned "catch-of-the-day." There may be other fish in the sea, but everyone wanted this piece of bass caught in their own nets guaranteed. Based shamelessly on biceps and booties, the contest puts the ship's most alluring passengers up for the judgment of the ship's lustful crowd.

Soon after the cruise's departure the unsuspecting crowds at the Ballard Locks were serenaded by their dazzling drag majesties Maybolinna Fabulash and Lady Chablis. Perched upon the bow of the Argosy like arch type mythical sirens, their tails glinted under the afternoon sun while they waved with the grace of beauty queens.

Madonna's voice echoed across the water as the ship made its way back through the locks and DJ Carlo transformed the second deck into a dance party reminiscent of the former Timberline in its glory days. Luckily for the booze-infused dancing queens, a tasty array of treats was provided along with the graciously poured cocktails. Smoked salmon with seasoned asparagus, shrimp, sliced watermelon, and pound cake were only a few of the delights provided by The City Catering Company.

The cruise co-hostess, rivaling Jessica Simpson with her long legs and golden curls, showed off a few moves of her own while entertaining the unstoppable party. Meanwhile local favorites like Aleska Manila and Maxine De La Cunt mingled between the decks and dance floor. Maybe the glint of sunlight on sea was really the flash of papparazzi cameras, not that these flawless queens would have minded one bit.

As the spectacular downtown Seattle skyline came back into view, veteran crew divas Sandy Beach and Flowtaysha De Vice offered a farewell toast to yet another fabulous Queen City Cruise. The twinkle of their silver lame tube dresses matched the sparkle in their eyes as they celebrated, yes say it again, a totally fab 25th anniversary.

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