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Volume 34
Issue 50
 
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NEW THIS WEEK:

Apocalypto

When young Mayan hunter Jaguar Paw's (Rudy Youngblood) village is attacked and destroyed, he is captured by a dying civilization bent on sacrificing him and his fellow villagers. After escaping, he must beat his captors home to save his pregnant wife, while facing perilous obstacles every step of the way. What follows is running, torture, and gore, and then more running, torture, and gore. _Apocalypto_ isn't exactly an art film, but as a tarted-up action flick, it delivers the goods. And if director Mel Gibson's Mayan-language film fails by thinking it's saying something important when it's really just an excuse to revel in bloodshed, at least the bloodshed is wildly entertaining and atmospheric - just not for the weak of stomach.

Grade: B+
Kinsey Scale: 0 (Gibson has made homophobic statements to the press in the past.)

 

Blood Diamond

In Sierra Leone, mercenary Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio) and fisherman Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) reluctantly partner to recover a rare pink diamond. While Archer simply seeks a big score, Vandy needs the cash the stone will bring in order to reunite his family in the war-torn region. Edward Zwick's lengthy drama is part straightforward action adventure; part heavy-handed civics lesson on the diamond trade's role in financing African conflicts; and part contrived romance, once Archer meets journalist Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly). Hounsou is moving as a desperate man fighting against the odds, and the drama is powerful when it focuses on Vandy's situation. But it's too bad that the film is mostly about Archer; DiCaprio's performance is weak, and his character is mostly unbelievable.

Grade: C
Kinsey Scale: 1 (DiCaprio played queer poet Arthur Rimbaud in _Total Eclipse_. Connelly won an Oscar for playing the wife of probably bisexual John Nash in _A Beautiful Mind_. Co-star Jimi Mistry appeared in the gay romantic comedy _Touch of Pink_.)

 

Breaking and Entering

Upper-crust London architect Will (Jude Law) has an office that's constantly being broken into by a Bosnian teen. One day he follows the lad home, meets his mother Amira (Juliette Binoche), and begins having an affair with her. Because, you see, Will may be rich and have a gorgeous home, but his wife is emotionally distant and he can't relate to his obsessive daughter. Whatever. Even in the capable hands of director Anthony Minghella (_The English Patient_), _Breaking_ winds up being just another tedious "upscale pretty white people with problems" movie, despite its stabs at multiculturalism. An able supporting cast - including Robin Wright Penn, Ray Winstone, Martin Freeman (from the original British _The Office_), and the luminous Vera Farmiga - does little to mitigate the tedium.

Grade: C+
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Law had a small role in _Bent_, but his big film break came playing Alfred "Bosie" Douglas in _Wilde_. Minghella also directed Law in the homoerotic _The Talented Mr. Ripley_.)

 

The Holiday

L.A.-based movie marketer Amanda (Cameron Diaz) and English wedding columnist Iris (Kate Winslet) swap houses over Christmas. Both women are nursing broken hearts, but despite each vowing to spend a man-free holiday, Amanda falls for Iris' brother Graham (Jude Law), while Iris warms to Amanda's friend Miles (Jack Black). Writer-director Nancy Meyers seems intent on taxing the patience of all but the most devoted romantic comedy fans with a thin premise, few laughs, unbelievable situations, an absurd length of well over two hours, and characters that are not always likable. And for a romance, it seems odd that the most satisfying relationship in it isn't either of the love matches, but instead the touching friendship that Iris forms with elderly screenwriter Arthur (Eli Wallach).
 
Grade: C
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Winslet's breakthrough role was as a teenage lesbian in _Heavenly Creatures_. Law had early parts in _Bent_ and _Wilde_, and co-starred in the homoerotic _The Talented Mr. Ripley_. Black and co-star Ed Burns both guest-starred on _Will & Grace_. Co-star Rufus Sewell appeared in the queer dramas _Carrington_ and _A Man of No Importance_.)

 

ALSO IN THEATERS:

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Kazakhstan journalist Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) - that nation's "sixth most famous man" - travels across the United States to learn about America, but his adventures mostly involve embarrassing the natives he's duped into showing him around. "Duped" because, of course, Borat is one of the characters created by comedian Baron Cohen for _Da Ali G Show_. While Borat is a racist, sexist, homophobic twit who hilariously mangles the English language - he describes sex as "making sexy-time" - the real joke in this satirical _Candid Camera_-style "documentary" is on the Yanks, who are unfailingly polite in the face of Borat's weirdness, and ignorant enough about Kazakhstan to take his blatherings at face value. Their discomfort and Baron Cohen's brilliant adherence to character result in one of the year's funniest movies.

Grade: A
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Borat is all about making sexy-time with the ladies, but he does wear one of the craziest thongs you've ever seen; he also wrestles naked with his producer. Another of Baron Cohen's _Da Ali G Show_ creations is gay fashionista Bruno. Baron Cohen also played the gay NASCAR driver in _Talladega Nights_.)

 

Casino Royale

In this rebooting of the series, British military intelligence agent James Bond (Daniel Craig) no sooner earns his double-0 status than he's in hot pursuit of Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), an accountant to terrorists worldwide. Le Chiffre has lost his investors' money, but he plans to win it back in a high-stakes poker game - unless Bond can beat him, of course. Craig proves himself to be just about perfect as the latest 007, a cold-blooded tough guy who's both brutish and sexy. Eva Green makes for one of the more three-dimensional Bond girls - she's actually disturbed after watching him kill an assailant - and the film is smart enough to fool you into expecting one resolution and then spring another. Bond - and Bond movies - haven't been this exciting in ages.

Grade: A-
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Craig kissed Toby Stephens in _Infamous_, the second of the Truman Capote biopics, while Green was the female corner of a pansexual love triangle in Bernardo Bertolucci's _The Dreamers_. Jeffrey Wright, seen here as one of the poker players, won Tony and Emmy awards for his portrayal of no-nonsense gay nurse Belize in Tony Kushner's _Angels in America_.)

 

Deck the Halls

Suburban optometrist Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) loves Christmas, but his Yuletide spirit deflates when his new neighbor, Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito), becomes determined to decorate his house with so many lights that it can be seen from space. Squabbling over Buddy's display turns into an all-out war that threatens to ruin not just the holiday, but the men's marriages. There is not an original scene in this formulaic, completely predictable family comedy, which further suffers from uneven pacing and dead spots that bring the action to a grinding halt. Nevertheless, it has a few funny moments, thanks to the actors' energetic performances and DeVito's truculent charm. Most enchanting of all is the dazzling, if garish, light show that graces the Halls' home, the movie's true star.

Grade: C
Kinsey Scale: 1 (There is no real queer content, although Steve goes into a panic when he discovers that the town's otherwise straight sheriff is a transvestite. Broderick's queer credits include roles in _The Producers_, _Strangers with Candy_, and _Torch Song Trilogy_. Co-star Kristin Davis was _Sex and the City_'s Charlotte and guest-starred on _Will & Grace_. Co-star Kristin Chenoweth's queer-themed projects have included _Running with Scissors_.)

 

Deja Vu

ATF agent Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) must travel back in time to prevent a terrorist incident. Meanwhile, he's also trying to save the life of a woman (Paula Patton) who may or may not be indirectly connected with the terrorists. Washington has played a self-important pill so often lately - _Man on Fire_, _John Q._ - that it's genuinely exciting to see him have fun on screen again in this admittedly silly action-adventure. The time-travel sequences feel like a theme-park attraction, and there's a "we're-tired-of-feeling-helpless-about-terrorism" undercurrent to the proceedings, but the movie winds up being an entertaining night at the movies - even by Jerry "let's blow stuff up" Bruckheimer standards.

Grade: B-
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Washington played the homophobic lawyer in _Philadelphia_. Co-star Val Kilmer played gay in _Kiss Kiss Bang Bang_ and starred in the gay-subtext-heavy action epics _Top Gun_ and _Batman Forever_.)

 

Flushed Away

Upper-crust pet mouse Roddy (Hugh Jackman) wants nothing to do with the community of sewer-dwelling rodents he encounters after he is flushed down the toilet. That begins to change when he meets lovely boat captain Rita (Kate Winslet), but with mad crime boss Toad (Ian McKellen) after them, there is little time for romance. This lively animated family film's charms begin with the cast's appealing vocal performances, cute animals that will entrance kids, and smart humor geared to amuse grownups. Furthering its appeal is witty, computer-generated imagery, particularly the rodents' underground world that re-creates London's Piccadilly Circus in trash. And while slugs may not sound as if they would make engaging cartoon animals, rendered here as a kind of absurd Greek chorus, they are irresistible.

Grade: A
Kinsey Scale: 1 (There's no queer content, but McKellen is openly gay and has starred in multiple gay projects; Jackman won a Tony for his role as queer singer/songwriter Peter Allen in _The Boy from Oz_; and Winslet's breakthrough role was in the sapphic _Heavenly Creatures_. Co-star Bill Nighy appeared in the homoerotic _Enduring Love_.)

 

Happy Feet

Emperor penguins employ their own unique sound - their heartsong - to attract mates, but young Mumbles (Elijah Wood) was born to dance, not sing, and the other birds ostracize him. But when a fish shortage leads to famine, this spurned outsider holds the key to the colony's survival. Peppered throughout with bad cover versions of old pop hits, this animated musical fable occasionally plays like an extra-special episode of _American Idol_ with penguins. More damaging is the quality of the computer animation, which lends the flightless birds a lifeless appearance. Emphasis on predators will frighten young children, while the icky sentimentality may put off grownups. Only when Mumbles cuts loose with his energetic tap routines (courtesy of motion-captured dance great Savion Glover) does this bird-brained saga soar.

Grade: C+
Kinsey Scale: 1 (No queer content, but several of the vocal talents involved have gay and lesbian projects on their resumes, including Robin Williams, Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, and Hugo Weaving.)

 

The Nativity Story

Mary (Keisha Castle-Hughes) is impregnated immaculately and has to head to Bethlehem with Joseph (Oscar Isaac). There's a lack of inn space, and Jesus is born in a stable. Meanwhile, it's difficult to know if this straight-faced, literal take on the Nativity story is subtextually meant to be something more (it's directed by _Thirteen_'s Catherine Hardwicke), or if, in fact, it's just supposed to be a straight-faced, literal take on the Nativity story. The execution suggests the latter, and without any controversy (a factor in _The Passion of the Christ_'s huge box-office take), the movie's audience is going to be limited to devoutly religious people who want to feel like they're in Sunday School.

Grade: C+
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Hardwicke's _Thirteen_ featured mildly homoerotic moments.)

 

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

Santa Claus - aka Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) - is expecting his first child with the new Mrs. Claus (Elizabeth Mitchell), and the whole family gathers for the blessed event, including Scott's son, his first wife, and his new in-laws (Ann-Margret, Alan Arkin). But like all holiday get-togethers, this one has its share of complications, most notably the appearance of Jack Frost (Martin Short), who wants to elbow Santa out of the way and make Christmas his own. While this holiday series has suffered from the law of diminishing comic and heart-warmth returns - David Krumholz's Head Elf from previous installments is sorely missed - _The Santa Clause 3_ retains enough of the first two films' charm to make it worth taking the kids when your feet need a rest after a full day of shopping.

Grade: B-
Kinsey Scale: 1 (Director Michael Lembeck was also behind the drag-queen farce _Connie and Carla_. Short played flamboyantly queeny characters in _The Big Picture_ and the _Father of the Bride_ movies. Ann-Margret played the mother of a gay man in the landmark TV movie _Our Sons_, while Arkin co-starred in _Little Miss Sunshine_ and played Grace's dad on _Will & Grace_.)

 

Stranger Than Fiction

Novelist Kay Eiffel's (Emma Thompson) latest work chronicles the life of shy IRS agent Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) as he falls in love with rebellious baker Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal). As Kay ponders her book's ending, the very real Harold begins to hear her voice narrating his every move and determines to discover the identity of the mysterious storyteller who seems to be deciding his fate. An abundance of charm and great, good humor are this gentle, surreal comedy's chief assets. The entire cast is flat-out wonderful, particularly Ferrell. Normally so boisterous in his movies, he is sensational here, cast against type as the introverted, awkward, _quiet_ Harold. The ending is a little weak, but until that point, this is a comedy that fires on all cylinders.

Grade: A-
Kinsey Scale: 1.5 (Ferrell starred in _The Producers_ and the metrosexual comedy _Zoolander_. Among Thompson's queer credits are roles in _Angels in America_ and _Carrington_. Gyllenhaal worked with John Waters in _Cecil B. Demented_ and appeared in Don Roos' queer romantic comedy _Happy Endings_. Co-star Queen Latifah played a lesbian in _Set It Off_ and received an Oscar nomination for her role in the queer-friendly _Chicago_. Gay actor Tom Hulce has a small role.)

 

Turistas

Brother-and-sister tourists Alex (Josh Duhamel) and Pru (Melissa George) - along with a small band of fellow Northern-hemisphere backpackers who just want to party and wear as little clothing as possible - find themselves stranded in Brazil after a robbery. Worse, they're also being stalked by a mercenary team of black-market organ harvesters. What follows is gory, trashy, lurid, and at times visually incoherent (for example, a battle in the Brazilian rain forest at night and another in a pitch-black underwater cave - neither of which can be understood until a character turns on a flashlight), but at least it's never dull. And while that's not enough to make a good movie, it'll be enough for audiences who just want to see people get hacked to pieces.

Grade: C-
Kinsey Scale: 1 (George had a small part in _Mulholland Drive_. Co-star Olivia Wilde played Mischa Barton's love interest on _The O.C._)

 

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