search SGN
Wednesday, Apr 24, 2019
click to go to click to visit advertiser's website





 
Cost of the
War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
click to go to advertisers website
 
All I want for Christmas
All I want for Christmas
by Jennifer Vanesco - Special to the SGN Dear Santa, I've been a very good Lesbian this year. Very good. Extremely good. As you know, goodness is not easy to keep up. It needs encouragement. And I know I could continue being very, very good if you brought me just a few small things. As that great friend-of-the-Gays Madonna says, "I really do believe in you - let's see if you believe in me."

Know what tops my list? A Democratic president. Santa, I almost don't care who he or she is. Any of the candidates would be fine. Just bring me a Democrat, Santa, as soon as you can. Oh, and once you've done that, then just nudge them a bit, will you?

Get that Democratic president to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It doesn't have to be their first day in office. Their second day will be just fine.

While you're at it, use your magic to make that Democratic president advocate for and sign the Permanent Partners Act, which would give same-sex partners the same immigration rights as opposite-sex partners. It would be a great thing to just throw under the tree.

If that's too much, you're welcome to substitute Federal Gay marriage. If you threw in a diamond ring, you'd have a pretty satisfied customer.

While we're on the subject of accessories, Santa can you please put a stop to the Lesbians-in-vests thing? First it was cute, then it was everywhere, now you can't see a Lesbian without a vest. Vests are like the chain wallet of 2007. Please, Santa, make them go away.

Lesbian clothes reminds me of Dani Campbell's proposed Futch clothing line. I like this idea. Love it. We have Dykes in the City, but stylish Lesbians could certainly use more cool clothes designed for our girl bodies. Santa, please help make Futch successful.

You know why Dani is so popular, Santa? Yes, she's a sweetheart - and the most real person on MTV's A Shot at Love. But also, Santa, there are too few Lesbians on TV. Hardly any. Santa, if you loved us, you would make a "at-least-one- Lesbian-per-show rule. Too many Lesbians, you say? I beg to differ. All those cop shows could use a few Lesbians, Santa - there are certainly a lot of Lesbian cops in real life. There are also doctors, suburban home owners, psychic detectives, nasty rich Lesbians & I could go on &

But I won't, Santa, because I have a movie request, too. You know I love those big summer shoot-'em-up blockbusters. Why not give us a Lesbian hero along the line of James Bond or Bruce Willis's Die Hard character? We need a hot, wisecracking, courageous, ass-kicking Lesbian to have her own action series. And no, Santa, you can't model her on Pamela Anderson.

Speaking of celebrities, thanks for giving me one of last year's Christmas wishes - the outing of more celebrities! David Hyde Pierce and Jodie Foster both mentioned their partners in speeches this year (finally). We're happy to add them into the community rolls. But Santa, could you go a wee bit further this year? There are still plenty of closeted celebs. They don't have to come out on the cover of Newsweek, Santa, but admitting they have a same-sex partner when they're asked directly in interviews would be a real gift to all of us.

But Santa, you know what we don't need this election year? Another Larry Craig. No more Larry Craigs, Santa. I'm tired of the hypocrisy. I'm tired of the revelations. I'm tired of the bathroom jokes.

Instead, Santa, let's just add a little nugget to the book of common wisdom, shall we? Let's decree that anytime someone consistently votes against Gay rights bills, everyone should consider that person to be secretly Gay. Gay people know the truth, Santa. Homophobes are actually ashamed that the only time they have Gay sex is in airport bathrooms or with rent boys in their (constituent-funded) hotel. Please, this year, just make sure that straight people know it too. Then maybe they'll help keep the homophobes out of office.

While we're on politics, Santa, a serious request: please encourage Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender leaders to actually sit down and talk about where our movement is headed. Should we continue to be one movement? How can all the different factions support each other without having the sort of meltdown we did over ENDA this fall? If we want to get full equality, that can't happen again.

So, that's it, Santa. Not much, right? Oh, there are a couple of other small things I'd add - universal health care, a national AIDS policy, a good Lesbian coffeeshop in my neighborhood. Hurry. I'm waiting for you.

Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com. She blogs daily at the Gay political site www.VisibleVote08.com.

New!! LGBT & LGBT friendly
"What's Happening WA"

click to visit advertiser's website

click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
Seattle Gay Blog
post your own information on
the Seattle Gay Blog


click to visit advertiser's website

copyright Seattle Gay News - DigitalTeamWorks 2007