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General Gayety by Leslie Robinson
Hidden gems of 2007
by Leslie Robinson - SGN Contributing Writer

I refuse to let 2007 go. Not until I highlight some of the year's events that slipped under the radar but helped make the year special.

Imagine you and your partner are waiting for your luggage in a dark airport in the middle of the night when the PA system announces, "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death."

You might throw yourself down the luggage chute.

It happened to a Gay male couple, who complained to Fort Lauderdale airport authorities. Skycap Jethro Monestime admitted to broadcasting the verse from Leviticus twice. He said he meant it as a prank. He should stick with whoopee cushions.

In England, a jailed Islamic cleric refused further treatment from his prison nurse after discovering the man is Gay. Abu Hamza, convicted of inciting racial hatred and murder, has a hook for a right hand, and for over two years the nurse has helped him wash and dress.

The nurse is openly Gay, clearly effeminate, and has the nickname of "Queenie." Yet Hamza only recently figured out he's Gay. If only terrorists really were this dim.

Hamza's lawyers demanded a replacement, claiming it's against his religion and human rights to be assisted by a homo. The prison service refused, saying it doesn't discriminate on the basis of sexuality.

Queenie himself was upset about the whole thing. "He has spent the last couple of years doing everything for Hamza, even wiping his bottom," a source told the Mirror. "It shows how little respect Hamza has for others. The nurse dresses him, washes him, cleans his teeth, cuts his toenails, trims his beard and applies ointment for his skin disorder."

Too bad Queenie can't apply something for Hamza's unsightly soul disorder.

Back in this country, a Chicago eighth grader and her grandparents were angry after a substitute teacher showed Brokeback Mountain. They responded in the only appropriate way: They sued the teacher, the principal, and the Chicago Board of Education. The filmmakers and the state of Wyoming escaped their wrath.

Grandfather and guardian Kenneth Richardson had earlier complained to school officials about reading material that included curse words, and Brokeback was the straw that broke the camel's back. He told the Associated Press his lawsuit was "necessary" since he had already warned administrators about using materials "against our faith."

He said the movie traumatized his granddaughter, who required psychological treatment. The approximately $500,000 in damages they sought would buy her Chicago's best therapist. Or a place on Maui. Whichever is more soothing.

Earl Adams of Bentonville, Ark., also had money on his mind in 2007. His sons, ages 14 and 16, were in the public library looking for materials on military academies. What they found, however, was The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

The two teenagers were "greatly disturbed" by finding the book, reported Adams, and it caused "many sleepless nights in our house." I just bet it did.

Adams faxed a letter to Bentonville's mayor calling the book "patently offensive." But complaining wasn't enough for him. Adams also demanded the library director be fired, and declared his intention to sue the city for $20,000. That's $10,000 per son, the maximum allowed under Arkansas's obscenity law.

He could've gone for $30,000 if another teenage son had been looking for books on sex - I mean military schools.

The library's advisory board voted to pull the book. A board member said they might replace it with one taking a "more sensitive, more clinical approach." My guess is they chose a book on indoor plumbing.

Leslie Robinson looks forward to the gems of 2008. E-mail her at LesRobinsn@aol.com, and read more columns at www.GeneralGayety.com.

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