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Better sucking
by Simon Sheppard - SGN Contributing Writer

OK, fellatio may not be rocket science. But knowing how to suck cock - and suck it well - is nevertheless a skill to be treasured. And when it comes to blowing, we Queer men may well have an advantage: We know how the process feels from both ends. As one self-described "hungry cocksucker" says, "Straight women can't give head like I do. Empathy, after all, only goes so far. I, on the other hand, know what I like, and I return the favor."

Still, remember that sexual tastes vary. A mouth motion that feels mind-blowing to Dick can seem so-so to Harry. When we pucker up to please our partners, empathy and feedback can help us homos, too.

It might seem that the one cardinal rule of giving head would be "no teeth," but even that dictum's not absolute. "I played with a man who really liked me to bite down," says our hungry fellow. "Pretty hard, too. It was fun, if a little scary."

Most of us aren't so kinky about cocksucking, though - we just want a wet, warm mouth to get us off. Many believe that the best blowjob entails deep-throating, and plenty of gulpers are greedily glad to oblige. Depending upon the strength of one's gag reflex, deep-throating dick can either be a pleasure or a trial. The good news, though, is that it gets easier with practice. So pull out that dildo (or a cooperative pal's cock), relax, concentrate, and remember to breathe. And when it comes to post-graduate gulping, be realistic. When you're chowing down on some humongous piece of meat, don't deep-throat the thing unless you think you can take it without gagging & much.

Tickling a guy's tonsils isn't at the top of every top's list, though, and a bit of blowjob trial and error should help in finding your partner's suck-off sweet-spots. Some dudes like to be licked down the length of their shafts, while others prefer stimulation around their cockheads. The most sensitive spots on most men's meat cluster around the business end, especially the frenum, that ridge of skin just south of the dickhead proper; tonguing or sucking that little doohickey will send many a guy into ecstasy. Says our hungry fellator, "The frenum seems even more sensitive than the head itself on many men, especially cut ones."

Which brings up another penile point: Uncut men often respond to somewhat different techniques than do the circumcised. Try using your lips to roll the foreskin back and forth, for instance, or slip the tip of your tongue underneath the skin. One dude with a long, tight prepuce says, "Lots of cut guys don't seem to know what to do with my dick, especially since my skin doesn't retract. On the other hand, there are men who manage to get their tongues right in there, and that's great."

Learning from experience can point the way to new penis-pleasing horizons. Says our uncut dude, "I didn't know all the tricks a tongue could do to the underside of a shaft until one expert sucked me off - he was amazing. So now when I suck, I try to do the same."

Attentiveness and imagination are pluses. Try stuff like sticking the tip of your tongue inside a big piss slit, or playing with nuts or butt while you suck. Some men like it slow and steady, while others prefer rapid accelerations and lingering slow-downs. And then there's the "keep it motionless in your mouth and nurse on it" technique.

Position matters, too. Kneeling, lying down between a man's thighs, or getting on your back with your head hanging over the edge of the bed all provide various angles of access.

Yes, it really is a matter of different sucks for different folks. You might take a clue from those straight girls and pay attention to your partner's body-language cues. You can even ask for verbal feedback. (In fact, an "I'm going to tell you just how to suck me" scene can be cock-hardening catnip.)

Recalls another frequent fellator, "Some men are ultra sensitive, and it helps to be told that. One guy I know doesn't like me to lick his head at all, and another was shying away, till I asked what was wrong and he said my recently trimmed beard was irritating him."

No, nobody likes a bad cocksucker. So pay attention, practice, and - in most cases, at least - watch those teeth!

Simon Sheppard is the editor of Leathermen and Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at Visit Simon at

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