Tuesday, Nov 12, 2019
 
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Tuesday, Nov 12, 2019
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Worst music of the year
Worst music of the year
by Albert Rodriguez and Richard Kennedy - SGN A&E Writers

From the overhyped to the disappointing to the downright horrible, these are our collective picks for the year's worst music in random order.

Do You Know (album) - Jessica Simpson
Pop tart Jessica Simpson attempted to revive her warbled (joke of a) singing career by going country in 2008. The result was a honky-tonk earache, reminding us that any talent-less media-leech can record 11 tracks in a studio. A. Rodriguez

American Music Awards (live performance) - Pussycat Dolls
It was the train wreck of the year that rivaled Brit's debacle at the MTV Awards. Lead singer Nicole Scherzinger coughed out her vocals as one girl struggled to get her jacket off while bracing herself against a wobbling stripper pole. Sad, sad, sad. R. Kennedy

Bye, Bye (single) - Mariah Carey
The perfect song for a teenage slumber party this year was Mariah Carey's weepy, lemon-coated single that pretty much sounds like a Mimi leftover. Wake me up if the diva flexes some originality on her next record. A. Rodriguez

Rock Witchu Tour - Janet Jackson
Oh, Miss Jackson & what happened? This tour, wrought with too much lip-synching, wretched costumes and hair that would make Sanjaya weep, ended in a number of cancellations due to "migraine induced vertigo." Latest update: cancelled shows will NOT be rescheduled - enough said. R. Kennedy

I Decided (single) - Solange
Beyonce's younger sibling, when not cameo-ing on big sis's shampoo commercials, attempted to launch her own music career with this song that sounds as if she had her ear to the wall at a Diana Ross B-sides party. A. Rodriguez

Another Way to Die (single) - Alicia Keys and Jack White
This proves two musical powerhouses do not necessarily make great music together. An awkward fusion of their distinct styles, in addition to a vocal clash, will make this Bond theme one of the forgettable ones. R. Kennedy

All I Want to Do (single) - Sugarland
Country duo Sugarland, slimming down from a trio by bumping its founding member, hired an acclaimed crossover producer to helm its second and third commercially successful albums. But their music, like this poorly written doo-wop, sounds like barnyard karaoke. A. Rodriguez

Jordin Sparks (album) - Jordin Sparks
This debut completely lacks style because of the former pageant girl's resistance to anything edgy. The lyrics are too innocent to be R&B, yet not catchy enough to win over the teens, and her "good girl" image comes off as haughty. R. Kennedy

All Summer Long (single) - Kid Rock
He went from rock badass to pop softie, not to mention taking Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" for a pussy-whipped ride during the year's warmest season. In 2008, Kid Rock lost his edginess and his mojo, and still looks as if he just woke up at a Tijuana cantina. A. Rodriguez

I Kissed a Girl (single) - Katy Perry
I know I'll be stoned for declaring this song a loser, but there is something incredibly disingenuous about it that I can't get past. Sounds like a sad plea for the Gay dollar. Plus, I hate cherry chapstick. R. Kennedy

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