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Money issues and my slave's birthday

by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid - SGN A&E Writer

Ah, my dears, life's been interesting - good and interesting and a bit wacky. Must be these retrograde planets we're all under these days. First of all, the money is very funny, with my little monthly stipend being on hold 'cause this one's money manager either lost her mind or is a total beotch. Either way, we'll be glad when that situation is fixed so me and sweet one/slave can go shopping for fall duds.

Then there's my ongoing attempt to take care of a little female plumbing issue, and running up against the stone wall of the Western medical system at UW Women's clinic (must be 'cause I complained about the last visit, with a doc who would have been comfortable in Hester Prynne's world), but trust me, this one is going to keep trying, 'cause pain is only good when I'm dishing it out to my slave, honey.

And speaking of slavery, my love baby and toy, me and that one celebrated his birthday early by taking a ferry ride to and from Bremerton, with that one in the cutest drag outfit. No one bothered us Trans chillun, but there were a few long looks and even a guard at the dock flirting with my baby. Honey, if someone looks that tasty, does it really matter what equipment's under the hood? No siree, Bob!

We also did the zombie thang in Fremont the day before the 4th of July, with that one in Trans hotness again, and, babies, it was yummy all the way with all of those creative folks in zombie getup doing the dance from "the gloved one's" "Thriller" video and breaking that pre-existing record as easily as crossing a street at midnight. Loved watching and laughing to Shaun of The Dead, too, which if you've never seen, honey, rent it and get happy about zombies with the rest of us. Oh, and you folks who seem to never have read a graphic novel, globules are the way it looks in the book, and the maker of Blood: The Last Vampire obviously knew that and stayed true to the novel, so shut yo' piehole and maybe find yo'sef' a girl to hang with, 'sted'a taking punches at really fab films. 'Nuff said on that.

Oh, and yes, honies, it's time for SHA, owner of my Digs, to do the whole "big brother" thang and crash my peace by doing their annual inspection again, but my darling slave cleaned so completely that this one is not worried. Nothing like dressing someone in "punk kitty-girl gear," taking their clothes on your errands and getting them to focus on the cleaning to liven up an otherwise boring Tuesday. Try it sometime and see what happens, babies.

This one is writing more on that in her other guise as columnist for The Seattle Sinner next month, so check that and the current column on the myth of sexless Asian men at seattlesinner13@yahoo.com.

So, what else has this one been up to besides being crazy, mad, happy in love, and wishing everyone she knows could know such joy, and trying to cut through government red tape to free up my cash? Well, this one also tried another Sally Hansen Lip Inflation Color-Full lip gloss in "Wink" and am loving it to death, honey. Also picked up another of Rimmel's Color Rush trio eyeshadow palettes in "Maritime," which makes this one's eyes so glam it oughta be against the law. Pick up both at either Walgreens or Bartells, and big props always to the pharmacists at Bartells for helping me survive the budget crunch blues regarding the change in coverage of my meds. You guys rule the school!

Finally, do also try Glamour Cell moisturizer. This one received a sample offer in the mail, ordered the stuff and was happily amazed at the results. Call their number at 1-888-425-0100 and check this product out. You'll love your face, trust me, honey.

So, that's it for now, my loves, and if you're not in love, baby, fall, fall, fall, even if it's only with yourself, 'cause it feels so good and the glow you get by being head-over-keister in love is better than any cosmetic you can buy. My wish is for all of you crazy folks to find this kind of joy sometime soon. Also, big yums to that new cutie working behind the counter at Molly Moon's Ice Cream. Baby, you're as luscious as the cone you made for me, and if I had my druthers, I'd be licking "salted licorice" off you until we both shattered the sound barrier. And to you nutty folks who never notice folks walking behind or around you on the street or in grocery stores, honey, the food's not going anywhere, and wake the flip up and see people, 'kay? Otherwise, my hand might have to meet your face in a not-so-good way, ya feel me? Okay, then. Also, a note to Mr. Jong Il, let our female journalists go, eh? Maybe Hillary should remind you why we fear Scorpio women (or I do, anyway). Drivers, drive less, and remember: pedestrians are part of the planet you live on, so slow down and wait a bit more, and, folks, please stop trashing innocent trees and lawns and bushes; earth don't need no mo' destruction, 'kay? 'Kay. Be tolerant, love more, laugh more, lighten up and hey, Republican knuckleheads, of course he didn't get it done right the freak away, and you just remember one of yours made this mess, honey. Peace out, buhbye, kiss kiss.

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