Saturday, Dec 15, 2018
 
search SGN
SERVING SEATTLE AND THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST FOR 37 YEARS!

click to visit advertiser's website


Javascript DHTML Drop Down Menu Powered by dhtml-menu-builder.com

Last Weeks Edition
   
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
 
 
Uncomman Fragrance by Michael Todd
 
KitchenSource.com
 
 

125x125 Bedding Sets
 
Roku.com-The Little Black Box That Streams Thousands of Films!
 
 

 

[Valid RSS]

click to go to advertisers website
Back to Section One | Back to Arts & Entertainment
posted Friday, April 30, 2010 - Volume 38 Issue 18
Getting married
Section One
ALL STORIES
  next story
Getting married

by Jennifer Vanasco - SGN Contributing Writer

Jenny and I are getting married.

The problem is where.

Oh, not where we're having the wedding. That's easy. Our wedding will be held in the church we attend, a 100-year-old Lutheran Church on the Upper West Side of New York, with well-worn wooden pews and slightly peeling paint.

Our church welcomes all and marries all (as does the Lutheran denomination now) which is probably why it's so vibrant, with children scratching out drawings during the sermons and straight and Gay couples of all races mingling during the social hour.

Our minister, when we asked her to officiate at our wedding, was thrilled. "Oh!" she said, clapping her hands. "I've been wanting to marry a Gay couple! This is great news!"

So our wedding will be in a church.

But our marriage is a different story.

New York State recognizes Gay marriages performed in other states and countries where they are legal - so once we are married somewhere, anywhere, we will be considered married at home.

We had been hoping that New York would go all the way and legalize marriages performed here, as well. And that looked likely for a while. There was strong support in the state legislature and the governor put his support behind the bill.

And then came last June, when the legislature careened into a circus, the governor lost all credibility and - well, suffice to say that it's doubtful our minister would be able to say "By the power of the state of New York I now pronounce you spouses for life" even if we waited until next year. Or 2012. Or 2013.

So we can't get married officially in New York.

We could get married in Washington, D.C., where Jenny's father is a judge. That would be perfect, except that he has yet to accept that Jenny is a Lesbian.

And for a time we thought about Iceland. Iceland will likely get marriage equality this June and Jenny has always wanted to go there. It's a small country. For a few days we thrilled each other by imagining jetting off to Iceland after our wedding to get officially married by their Lesbian prime minister.

"Why not?" we thought. "Why shouldn't she officiate?" It's a small country. It would be good publicity, at least to the well-traveled Gay set.

And then we imagined waving around a marriage certificate in Icelandic should we ever have to prove that we are married, say, in Arkansas, and shuddered.

There are other choices: Spain. New Hampshire. Massachusetts. Iowa. Each have their draws and drawbacks.

Straight couples do not have this issue. They do not have to figure out the logistics of both a wedding and a marriage. They don't have to decide both who will see them walk down the aisle and who will see them officially tie the knot. They do not have one outfit for the minister and one for the judge who signs the papers.

But we do.

In the end, we'll probably do the easy thing: Connecticut. It's right over the border on the MetroNorth. We don't know who of our friends and family will be able to make it - we're already asking them to fly in from all over the country during the week instead of a weekend and asking them to tack on an extra day seems wrong.

But what is really wrong, of course, is that we should need to perform an extra step at all.

We can't just walk down the aisle. We also have to drive, ride or fly across state lines.

But we will do it, because at the end of the day, beautiful as it will be, we don't just want a wedding. We want to be married.

Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. E-mail her at Jennifer.Vanasco@gmail.com; Follow her at Twitter.com/JenniferVanasco.

Tell a friend:

Share on Facebook  Share on Facebook

Post to MySpace!Share on MySpace!

    Share on Delicious

Share on StumbleUpon!

Wrestling star calls LGBT rights a 'pressing issue'
------------------------------
Mississippi high school cuts Lesbian student from yearbook
------------------------------
SGN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Openly Gay Bryce Bennett runs for Montana office
------------------------------
Closing arguments set for federal Prop 8 trial
------------------------------
Getting married
------------------------------
'I won't enforce the immigration law,' says Arizona sheriff
------------------------------
Meet Kevin Keller - Archie Comics introduces Gay character
------------------------------
Return of the Washington Blade
------------------------------
South Park murder suspect will not face death penalty
------------------------------
Lesbian to lead Service Employees International Union 'The most powerful Lesbian in the country'
------------------------------
GetEQUAL announces another protest at White House
------------------------------
Bolivian President not homophobic, spokesperson says
------------------------------
General Gayety: Bad fences make for bad neighbors
------------------------------
Neo-Nazis vandalize local activist office
------------------------------
GSBA cruise mixer a seaworthy success
------------------------------
LGBTQ survey reveals a diverse population
------------------------------
BREAKING NEWS
------------------------------
Pelosi calls for Obama to stop discharging gay servicemembers immediately
------------------------------
Lambda Legal Condemns Arizona's Discriminatory Immigration Law and Calls on Congress to Enact Comprehensive Immigration Reform
------------------------------
Military tells Congress to keep gay ban for now
------------------------------
LGBTs denounce Arizona immigration law
------------------------------
A Murderous Gay iPhone App
------------------------------
Immigrants, Gays, & Bankers
------------------------------
Rising Tory star Philippa Stroud ran prayer sessions to 'cure' gay people
------------------------------
Man sentenced to year in jail for Vancouver gay-bashing attack
------------------------------
How to stop HIV spreading in Zambia's prisons
------------------------------
Lutheran church to reinstate gay pastor in Atlanta
------------------------------
Chely Wright Comes Out
------------------------------
Federal Court to Hear Arguments Tomorrow in DOMA Challenge
------------------------------
Baltic Pride appeals temporary permit suspension
------------------------------
George Rekers Is a Homosexual, Escort Says
------------------------------
Federal Court Hears Arguments in DOMA Challenge
------------------------------

------------------------------
My Interview With Jo-Vanni Roman
------------------------------
Chely Wright on her decision to come out: 'I won't be a whisper. I'm too proud of who I am.'
------------------------------
LGBT & Queer groups to protest San Francisco hotels
------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

click to visit advertiser's website

click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
SkinCareRx Banner (250x250)
Seattle Gay Blog post your own information on
the Seattle Gay Blog
 

Roku.com-The Little Black Box That Streams Thousands of Films!
gay news feeds gay news readers gay rss gay
http://sgn.org/rss.xml | what is RSS? | Add to Google use Google to set up your RSS feed
SGN Calendar For Mobile Phones http://sgn.org/rssCalendarMobile.xml
SGN Calendar http://sgn.org/rssCalendar.xml
copyright Seattle Gay News - DigitalTeamWorks 2010

USA Gay News American News American Gay News USA American Gay News United States American Lesbian News USA American Lesbian News United States USA News
Pacific Northwest News in Seattle News in Washington State News