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to Section One | to Arts & Entertainment
posted Friday, November 30, 2012 - Volume 40 Issue 48
Arts & Entertainment
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Letters

Marriage: Some food for thought

This is my advice to another Gay man thinking of getting married.

I got married last year in Boston. We chose that destination because it was legal there and my husband's family lives there. It turned out to be a very small, historical setting at the Cambridge courthouse and I would recommend that destination to anyone - it's very romantic. The justice of the peace was there, along with my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, husband, and me.

I want to tell you that you really need to look at the relationship that your significant other has with their mother. The relationship I had with my mother was wonderful and in turn I was able to love unconditionally every one of my partners, and I knew when to leave because that person was not right for me to spend the rest of my life with. When I met Michael I knew he was the one for me. Trust me, when you have met Mr. Right, you know it. And you know it in every bone in your body.

You see, when you decide to marry, you are bonding with that person and their family for eternity in front of God and everyone. Because of this I have been able to connect with my husband in every way - physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychically. My husband is very special and is extremely sensitive and had a very different relationship with his mother. They were not close and at times there was violence. The relationship your significant other has with their mother affects you, and if you come across this you must stop right away and get hold of a counselor. You will both need this for two reasons - to work out the issue of intimacy between the two of you, and to know how to handle feelings toward one another. Having gone through marriage counseling for a year we have been able to become closer than ever. Sharing every moment with my husband is a blessing and we are able to learn from one another's experiences in life. And to me, so far, that has been the most important part.

John Victor Sutherland

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