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to Section One | to Arts & Entertainment
posted Friday, February 1, 2013 - Volume 41 Issue 5
'Write your own ticket'
Arts & Entertainment
ALL STORIES
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'Write your own ticket'

Planning to wed? You can help create new traditions for our community

by Daniel Hanks - SGN Contributing Writer

Sebastian Aguilar is a lot of things. He is Sister Carlotta Love Tu'Cher (get it?), a Novice Sister with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Abbey of Saint Joan. He is in his mid-thirties. He is a Seattle resident. And now, thanks to the equality-minded voters of Washington, he can add 'married' to all of the wonderful things that make up his life and times.

Aguilar tells Seattle Gay News he plans to wed his fiancé, Kenn Johnson.

'We met three years ago at camp during Labor Day weekend - basically like summer camp for adult Gay men. The connection between us was instantaneous,' said Aguilar, adding 'I realized our feelings were a lot more serious after a couple of weeks and we've been happily together' since then.

WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT
Aguilar told SGN, 'I couldn't have been happier when marriage equality finally passed. Our relationship had incredibly lucky timing and we feel very fortunate.'

'While we had the conversation about marriage, we just wanted it to be legal before we did anything,' said Aguilar, adding, 'or else it would've felt false.'

Referencing the Jim Crow laws that helped fuel the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, Aguilar said, 'It's as if we weren't allowed to drink out of the same water fountain.'

When I asked him about the proposal, he paused. Taking care to choose just the right words, Aguilar finally said, 'I couldn't believe my emotions of how I felt when he proposed to me, because I felt emotion right away.'

Aguilar then admitted, 'It never occurred to me that getting married was even a possibility. Coming out at the age of 15 in 1993, marriage was something you're not good enough for, or that society thinks you're not good enough for.

'I was surprised I felt that way, that it was a possibility,' Aguilar went on, recalling his attitude as young and naïve - but, he added, 'I could see the tide was turning.'

OLD AND NEW IDEAS
So then what, exactly, does a Gay wedding look like? According to Aguilar, he's planning on using a few unique ideas from other weddings he's attended.

But he said he liked the idea of having one or two people stand up and speak as a part of the ceremony.

'The wedding parties will include both bridesmaids and groomsmen,' Aguilar said. 'We are definitely having ours be a potluck because it saves money and makes the event less formal, making everyone feel comfortable and turning the food into an icebreaker. We want to keep it informal.'

Aguilar told SGN that his wedding will have a total of three officiates: 'One to represent Kenn's Christian background, one for my own Suquamish Native-American background, and one to recognize anyone who isn't as fortunate as we are.' He added that his father will give a blessing.

When asked if he had found any marriage traditions specific to the LGBT community, Aguilar said that with marriage equality just recently passed, there really haven't been enough weddings for such traditions to develop.

Aguilar does have something new to add, though: 'We will be doing some kind of blessing for those who came before us, those in states that don't have [marriage equality] yet, and for everyone around the world who can remain out of the closet and still be alive.'

IT'S YOUR CALL
The couple have not yet set a date for their wedding, but they are holding it at a beautiful Snohomish venue, Jarbin Del Sol (10522 52nd St. S.E.), in August.

Finally, Aguilar related a story about how he married some friends at the last Lady Gaga concert. He said, 'Their friend an ordained minister couldn't make it, so I went online and got ordained in three minutes. I married them in a Catholic priest T-shirt at the concert to Gaga's hit 'Marry the Night.'

Aguilar gives SGN readers this advice: 'For other people, write your own ticket. One of the upsides to being Gay is that all the old traditions don't work.'

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