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to Section One | to Arts & Entertainment
posted Friday, March 28 2014 - Volume 42 Issue 13
Musician has choice words for Gays who say they 'knew all along' when he came out last week
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Musician has choice words for Gays who say they 'knew all along' when he came out last week

by Shaun Knittel - SGN Associate Editor

Ricky Martin. There wasn't a Gay man around who didn't (at least) think they knew all along that he was family before he came out in 2010. In fact, in some cases, the news coverage of Martin coming out when people already thought they knew, became the story. The fact that he had actually come out was almost overlooked. But that was 2010. That was before the lightning fast pitch in which the movement has accelerated with marriage equality, parts of the federal DOMA disqualified and more. Nobody can deny that 2014 is as different as oil and water when it comes to Gay rights and 2010.

So when Neon Trees' lead singer Tyler Glenn came out on Monday - and the reactions that swelled through the LGBT community have been varied, with many Gays leaving comments across the web claiming they 'knew all along' that the mod rock star was batting for our team - it should come as no surprise that Glenn fired back. He wrote on Facebook to the chorus of Gaydar-police echoing across social media and blogs to explain why even though some people may have judged correctly this time, it was still inherently important for him to make the announcement publicly.



From the announcement:

'I don't think I'm special for being a Gay man. That's not why I came out. I didn't come out so all of you could say 'I knew it' based on the clothes I wear or the way I dance. I never even thought I'd have to come out.

'I'd be the 50 year-old living with dogs hiding my relationships living on a beach somewhere. Maybe then I'd be comfortable with it. But it was last summer, writing songs for the new album, being so fed up with 'hiding' and being so ready to be 'free' that I poured my heart out into music more than I'd ever had before. Music indeed was my first love. Not a boy. It was music that I had always had a torrid love affair with. I felt I owed him, the music, or her, the song. I had to be honest with that relationship.

'It was the moment I let myself write about the years spent in falling for my straight friend or the song I let myself write about thinking it was OK to be alone forever because it was better than explaining myself. It was those truths that came out before I decided to. You can't hide away forever. I don't think I was even trying. But music never let me lie. Something always would come out in the songs.

'So now you know what you may have always assumed. Good for you. How does it feel? Do you want a 'Gaydar' award? Do you want to be pat on the back because you can 'spot them'?

'It is not news. It is not meant to be salacious. Until you know what it's like to hide, to keep away true happiness out of fear. That's when you truly understand what it's like. It's not about coming out to wave a flag in another's face. At least it's not for me. For me it's about finding the purist of peace. The absolute settling of my soul. The clearest vision of the road I want to take.

'I'm 30. I don't want to die anymore. I want to really live. Honestly, and fully. What an amazing place to be. For me it was a place I never cared about. Now all I want is to be honest.

'That's what this whole 'coming out' thing is for me. It's been quite a real and beautiful day to have so much compassion and love coming from strangers, fans that have been there since the beginning, new fans, family, friends. For someone like me, the eternal self-deprecator, I just want to say thank you.

'I guess the last thing I want to say tonight, and for now, is, if you're like me, a wanderer, a questioner, a soul searcher, a dreamer, or misunderstood for any reason at all: Come out.

'Come out as a wanderer. Come out as a questioner. One day it won't matter. But it still does. Come out as YOU. That's all I really can say. That's what I'd say to me at 21, the scared returned Mormon missionary who knew this part of himself, but loved God, too. You can do both. Don't let anyone tell you, you can't.

'All my love and hope, and for now, back to the music.

'XO Your friend, Tyler.'

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