Dear Kiki with D,

I've been with my partner for the past six years and he is the love of my life. Over the past year, I've begun to hear rumors at the work place of him cheating on me with another man, but there are no outright signs at home. The shocking twist to this story is that the purported man is not only a coworker, but a man I consider to be one of my closest friends. We've even taken him on vacation with us and accepted him into our apartment. Admittedly, the romance of our relationship has cooled off recently due to other interests, but I feel like that is par for the course after several years together. I still love him with all of my heart and have never even thought about being with another man. My dilemma here is how to approach this delicate situation. I planned on proposing and marrying my partner this summer; now, I am confused and don't know what to do. Do I confront my partner about it and risk accusing him of something that will jeopardize our relationship? Do I approach my coworker and risk not only losing a great friend, but potentially ruining the great workplace chemistry that we have established?

-Mind-Blown in Bellingham

Dear Mind-Blown in Bellingham,

Approach your partner, please. Not with anger, but with concern. You can tell him that you've heard these rumors and that you have no idea how to process the information. You can explain that the rumors have caused you to worry about whether he's happy with the relationship. See what he has to say.

This situation is delicate, but it can't be avoided. You can't continue this three-way friendship, if you're secretly stewing about what you've heard. And really, your partner deserves to know about the rumor mill - and about your anxiety. It's his relationship, too.

Whatever you do, don't confront your friend. For the moment, this is between you and your partner. Call on that partnership.

Hope this helps. Remember be true to you, love yourself, encourage yourself and others.

-D

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