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Ask Izzy: Recovering from the Eras Tour and nursing an emotional hangover

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Ask Izzy is a biweekly advice column about relationships, mental health, and sexuality. Written by Isabel Mata — a Seattle-based lifestyle writer, podcast host, and mental health advocate — Ask Izzy offers tangible expert advice so all readers can have stronger relationships, better sex, and healthier mindsets. Submit your question today by emailing [email protected] with the subject Ask Izzy.

Dear Izzy,

This past weekend, I had the chance to see Taylor Swift perform at Lumen Field as a part of her Eras Tour. I had been dreaming of the concert for pretty much my whole life, and the night was incredible. It was everything I had hoped for and so much more. However, since that night, I barely can remember the songs she performed. It's like I blacked out and have a hangover that won't quit. I am worried I will never recover and nothing will ever make me feel as alive as seeing her perform did. What is going on with me? What do I do? I don't want to be this sad forever.

— Emotionally Hungover

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Dear Hungover,
You took the words right out of my mouth. Like you, I too went to the show and alas, I too have an emotional hangover that won't quit. According to Psychology Today, "emotional hangovers are the energetic residue left over from the interaction, and without an outlet, this energy affects your physical well-being. [It] can make you feel tired, foggy, or ill." This explains why you, I, and apparently hundreds of other people (per TikTok) feel a comedown like no other after seeing this show.

Last month, BBC News wrote about another phenomenon that explains why you are having trouble remembering certain aspects of the concert, like a post-concert amnesia of sorts. With the help of music psychologist Dr. Michelle Phillips, it explained that "when fans are excited and so immersed in a moment, they can feel as though 'time has suddenly passed' and they haven't been able to properly process everything they've just seen, heard and felt." (Funnily enough, I felt something similar in the days after getting married.)

So how do you deal with these post-concert blues? First and foremost, acknowledge that how you are feeling is absolutely normal, and embrace it. Watch the tour videos! Scroll through your photos. It's okay to take a day to ruminate on the joy and love you felt in those moments listening to your favorite artist perform. Also, let yourself feel sad.

That being said, you can't let the sadness consume you.

How you actually do that is through mindfulness and gratitude. I don't know about you, but I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I was able to experience the Eras Tour. In the days after, focusing on this gratitude and letting it fill up your body will make the aftershock less vivid.

From there, focus on how your body actually feels.

Like a real hangover, it is important to treat the symptoms that come up. Feeling groggy and headachy? Drink more water than usual, and make sure you are eating healthy foods. If you are feeling sleepy and exhausted, take a nap! Allow your body to rest and recover by listening to what it is telling you.

As a Queer, neurodivergent person, Taylor's music has mirrored my experiences of falling in love, getting hurt, and finding myself through adulthood. So the experience of singing these songs with 70,000 people was powerful as fuck! It's not going to be something you just "shake off."

While it may seem like you might never recover from such an incredible experience, it's important to remember that this feeling will pass. In a few weeks, maybe even just days, you will look back on your concert experience with joy rather than sadness. It will be something you cherish forever, I promise.