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Queer-ish Valentine's gifts for the Queers you love-ish: 2023 ed-ish

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Spread the love this Valentine's Day with these festive, fun, and sometimes frisky gifts to fill all your special someones' (hey, we don't judge) hearts with happiness and appreciation.

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Love script pillows
PillowScript's royal-hued love script pillows — in muted green, red, blue, or gray — imbue your personal space with optimism, openness and a velvety softness smoother than Cupid's bare bottom. $50, https://www.PillowScript.com/

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Tale as old as time
At once slim and sleek, the Vincero Kairos and Eros Petite mesh and leather-banded watches look stunning on a beauty or a beast. $99-178, https://www.VinceroCollective.com/

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Fondue feasts
You dip, she dips, they dip bite-size savories and sweets into BOSKA's cheese and chocolate fondue sets, equally suited for a sophisticated date night at home or as the centerpiece of a '70s-inspired Galentine's party. Better dust off the orgy lamp. $33-44, https://usa.boska.com/

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Covered in love
Kisses and hugs and on-the-couch snugs are instantly cozier in Sunday Citizen's XOXO throw or the Mamas Blanket x Calhoun & Co.'s pink-and-red girl-power blanket for wrapping up near-and-dear babes and broads. $170, https://sundaycitizen.co/; $138, https://www.AustinMotelStore.com/

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Playboy pleasure
One might assume that a synonymous-with-sex brand like Playboy would already have a leg (or two) up on the adult-toy industry, but its recently launched, first-foray Playboy Pleasure line couldn't be rushed: the inaugural collection includes vibrators with heating, tapping, and thrusting functions; a spinning butt plug; multimotor cock rings; toys with flickering tongues; solo strokers; and a first-of-its-kind flapper shaft for the G-spot. You're gonna need a bigger tarp. $26-200, https://www.LoversStores.com/

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Chinola x Vesta chocolate
Skip the Stover's and improve your chocolate-gifting game with limited-edition Chinola bonbon and ganache chocolates, the melt-in-your-mouth collab between Dominican-sourced Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur and Vesta Chocolate, co-founded by Chef Roger Rodriguez. $25-48, https://www.VestaChocolate.com/

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Lace charms
Customize your kicks with splashes of sparkle when you outfit their laces with burnished beads and baubles — like Lace Charms' Digital Pink Bundle, featuring gold stars and rosy bling-blings — fit for sneakerhead kweens and king-kings. $30-75, https://www.LaceCharms.com/

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Happy juice
You'll get your lips kissed when you twirl a Sunkist on the stylish Verve Culture artisan citrus juicer (available in gold, rose gold, and black), your new go-to hand-operated appliance that gilds the lily of an already decadent holiday brunch in bed. $98-150, https://www.VerveCulture.com/

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Power flowers
If Miley can buy herself flowers, so can you. Treat your resilient self to Perfect Plants' bounty of blooms — including houseplants, trees, shrubs, hedges, and a wide selection of coveted Drift rose bushes — that'll keep your space fresh long after love goes stale. $40+, https://www.MyPerfectPlants.com

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Gas you up
Motivational neon signs that empower you to "Rise & Grind," "LISTEN TO YOUR HEART," "Hu$tle," and "BE A BADASS WITH A GOOD ASS" not only add pops of radiating light and liveliness to your home and office, but they just might reduce your therapy bill too. $200-600, https://www.CustomNeon.com/

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Big and beautiful
Lizzo launched a thousand hips with her body-positive lyrics and lifestyle, and you can continue that self-satisfying trend with Le Chic Miami's hand-painted, more-to-love basswood Venus hoop earrings, available in three everywoman skin tones. $27, https://www.LeChicMiami.store/

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All the restaurants
Former New Yorker magazine editor turned self-taught artist John Donohue recognizes that most Americans' first dates take place at restaurants (Starbucks is #1 while In-N-Out Burger clocks in at #2, according to a survey of Clover app users), which is why he's made it his mission to commemorate the occasion with signed, limited-edition prints of your fave romantic dining destinations, including Manhattan's 12 Chairs Café and Abilene Bar, Jaleo in DC, and London's Noble Rot. $95, https://www.AllTheRestaurants.com/

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Bye-bye, Dry January
Build a more discerning home bar in 2023 with a curated selection of luxury liquors, including Empress 1908 and Jaisalmer gins, Rampur Double Cask and Bearface Triple Oak whiskies, Tequila Ocho Plata, and L'etoile du Nord vodka. Prices vary, https://www.Drizly.com/; https://www.TotalWine.com/

Jaisalmer Gin Negroni
1.25 oz. Jaisalmer Indian Craft Gin
1 oz. Camapri
0.75 oz. Cocchi Torino Vermouth

Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass. Add ice and stir until proper chill and dilution are achieved. Strain into a double rocks glass.  Add a few large pieces of clear ice. Garnish with an orange twist.

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One love
Dateless for V-Day? Toast your single status — self-imposed independence should be celebrated (just ask Shakira) — with a bottle of Beau Joie Rosé Champagne and poppable Doughp cookie dough bites, in upbeat flavors like Cinnamood, Brownie Beast, Cookie Monsta, and Red Velvet Vixen. $135, https://www.TotalWine.com/; $12-16, https://www.Doughp.com/

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram.