Ever since I was a kid, I have been using my own experiences (and traumas) as a bisexual, neurodivergent chronic over-sharer to help my friends, family, and even random strangers on the internet have stronger relationships, better sex, and healthier mindsets. I find joy in writing about all the things no one else wants to talk about. The more cringe, the better.

Using my experience and my innate ability to connect with empathy, every other week I will respond to your questions about life, love, friendships, sexuality, mental health, and whatever else is on your mind. Nothing is off limits.

Dear Izzy,
My landlord keeps dead-naming me and has stated multiple times that he thinks I'm living with a roommate despite me being the only one on the lease since 2019 and using my current name. He has tried to charge me double for insurance, has increased my utilities to the cost of two people, and plans on raising my rent by about $150 in March to accommodate his beliefs. His notices start with "[Dead Name] et al.," implying there are several people living in my small studio apartment. I love my home and I'm not sure I'm financially stable enough to move out, but I feel his actions are transphobic and retaliatory because I continue to politely point him toward reality. What should I do? —Exasperated in Eastlake

Dear Exasperated,
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. You are right — your landlord's behavior is 100% transphobic, and what you are dealing with is not okay.

First and foremost, your safety and emotional well-being is priority #1. I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to be in your shoes, so all I can say is that it's okay to feel upset and distraught by this. Not only is it okay, but it is also expected.

Before we look at solutions, it's important to acknowledge your own emotions and make space to feel however you may be feeling. You can do this by closing your eyes, focusing on your breath, and grounding into the present moment. Watch what feelings arise and sit with them. This is not an easy situation to navigate, and it's going to take resiliency and courage to move through it, traits that I have no doubt that you exemplify. You are one strong-ass motherfucker. You can do hard things.

If you truly do not want to move out (even though I think you should, because your landlord is a bigot), then you have protections according to the federal Fair Housing Act and the Washington Law Against Discrimination. Thanks to a helpful infographic I found on the King County website, here are the best ways to protect yourself if you have faced discrimination (which I believe you have):