A startling statistic from ChildrensRights.org found that over 30% of youth in foster care identify as LGBTQ+. This is staggering, considering that only 11% of children outside of foster care identify as such.
While many LGBTQ+ foster kids end up in the system for reasons similar to those of heterosexual youth (parental abuse or neglect), some find themselves cast out of their homes just because of who they are.
For any foster child, the experience of being bumped around the system and searching for any sense of normalcy is common, but statistically, LGBTQ+ foster kids are more likely to experience rapid placement turnaround or placement in a group home. A 2014 study out of Los Angeles found that LGBTQ youth in the foster care system experience on average 6.35 different placements, while the general foster care population experiences only three on average.
The statistics don't lie. Kristpher Sharp, a former foster child, spent eight years in the system, "I was told that foster families didn't want a gay kid in their home, so I grew up in group homes and residential centers, where I was abused sexually, physically, and emotionally."
A New York study found that 78% of LGBTQ+ youth had run away from a foster placement that had shown hostility toward their gender identity or sexual orientation. The study also found that 100% of LGBTQ+ youth in group homes experienced verbal abuse and that 70% reported physical abuse.
Washington state
Currently, Washington is one of only 14 states that include sexuality and gender identity as a part of nondiscrimination laws protecting foster children, but even so, the state's overall foster care system is lacking when it comes to educating potential foster parents of the unique experiences of LGBTQ+ youth.
The system is aware of cultural and social differences in children from different racial backgrounds or those with disabilities. It not only works hard to educate foster parents on these differences but also provides the information to the prospective parents first, asking if they would be comfortable or able to care for these children.
However, the system does not currently educate on topics of sexuality and gender and does not disclose whether the prospective foster child is a sexual minority.
Robert Crowley, a former foster parent and now the adoptive father of three children, explained firsthand the lack of information for prospective foster parents when it comes to sexuality. "There's a lot of work done on terms of race, culture, religion, all kinds of those things. But one of the questions that does not come up for the... parents is, would you be interested in fostering a child that identifies as gay, lesbian, transgender, nonbinary?"
While this lack of transparency when it comes to sexual and gender identities might not seem like a major issue on the surface, it is one of the main reasons LGBTQ+ foster children encounter such frequent difficulties in finding a permanent placement.
"There are these cases where children are kicked out of their homes because of their orientation and then placed into foster care homes where they are still not accepted," Crowley explained. "And these families try either to convert them or keep them from going that way, and some have even suffered abuse in their foster home after being kicked out of their birth home for abuse."
Disclosing to potential foster parents that they may be matched with an LGBTQ+ child would allow the bigoted ones to opt out of taking in an LGBTQ+ child, preventing further abandonment and displacement in the child's life.
Foster care crisis
It is no secret that Washington state is facing a foster care crisis. According to PartnersForOurChildren.org, Washington has on average 8,800 children in home care. The average age of a child in foster care is just six and a half. Displacement at such a young age can be traumatic for a child and wreak havoc on their cognitive and emotional development. Even harder is when children are repeatedly moved out of homes, leading many to develop attachment disorders.
The experiences of older foster children can be just as damaging. Twenty thousand children age out of the system each year without the money or family support to help start them off in life.
For more information on the foster care crisis facing Washington state, I turned to a social worker based in Spokane, who preferred to not be named. Spokane County is home to 800 foster kids each year, and as it's more conservative, it can be much harder for those who identify as LGBTQ+.
Crowley and his husband, Robert Martin, considered Spokane when looking for a foster placement. "I remember when we were first deciding on which organization to go with, we were looking at all sorts of different ones, and a friend of ours had recommended one in Spokane, and a friend of hers had adopted very, very quickly from Spokane," Martin said. "I contacted them, gave them a little blurb in my email, followed it up with another email, and didn't hear anything. I called and I called, and nothing.
"Finally, I got a hold of somebody, the executive director of the organization, and she said, 'Mr. Martin, I have received all of your communications, but I am here to tell you that none of our birth mothers would be interested in a family of your makeup.'"
The Spokane social worker confirmed this, informing me that while there are many open-minded and loving families in Spokane who would be willing to take in an LGBTQ+ child, there are just as many who would find discomfort in the idea.
Solutions
The solution to the issue, both Crowley and the Spokane social worker informed me, is that we need to see more LGBTQ+ parents willing to take in older youth. Children over five, who make up 49% of those currently in foster care, have a much harder time finding placements, and they struggle even more in finding adoptive parents.
Providing disclosure of sexual identity when it comes to youth in foster care could also help match LGBTQ+-identifying youth with parents and placements who identify the same way.
While making the decision to become a foster parent is a big step, doing so changes the lives of children, especially older LGBTQ+ children who have already experienced much rejection and heartbreak.
Crowley and Martin have a full house right now, but they are keeping the door open to possibly helping an LGBTQ+ foster child know that they are not alone.
"One thing we've always talked about is eventually fostering an LGBTQ child, or even possibly adopting," said Martin.